Wait... The same one you ho-downed on SNL?

Ashlee Simpson apparently put on a good show. There I said It. A GOOD SHOw. I know, I know I didn't think it was possible, but then again I didn't think So many people would try to bring Sexy Back ( Looking in your direction posers). Yeah so incase you "missed it" Simpson began her five-week run as "Roxie Hart" from Chicago last night in London. I think That London is code for a new an exciting universe where up is down and black is white. Oh and Bad teeth are sexy. Oh well at least when She comes back here and everybody hates her agin she could move to London. Chip Chip Cheerio

More videos

Here are a few vids for all of y'all out there.















There you go. Have fun.

Can You Feel it Wrestling in the Air tonight?

NUFF SAID

Whoa now! It's not the end of the world

Here is a news/math equation:
Spaceballs= Lonstar + ((Movie+ Yogurt) * Mel Brooks /Movie) +TV^2 = Spaceballs the Cartoon Show.


Also Clay Aiken is still totally totally gay.



Except he uses 5,000 words in stead of saying yes.

... Lack of Updates

Hey Y'all There has been a lack of updates recently... There is a reason, a REAL reason... umm that is good, and not totally lazyness on my part... something you will all accept. OH1 Matt Damon is the celebrity of the month, and since he doesn't really do anything in theew uhhh gossip-y news we're not really doing anything.... YEAH! I mean uh huh that's it.

NOW it's time for a Catch Up- Cactus Round 3...2....1

1. Nip/Tuck is on FIRE!!! WATCH IT NOW!
2. Vin Diesel might be staright.... might be gay... or might be 2 gay 2 fabulous
3. Justin Timberlake looks really angry, like an abusive husband. I sure hope he doesn't get his hands on a belt and whisky! I"m a gggood son riiight dad? uh.. dad?
4. Paris Hilton is the most hated celebrity... SURPRISE
5. I am not a celebrity
6. Borat is awesome. He has a myspace. /borat



Well thats it. As a surprise there will be a second Sauce v Pants


Oh there WILL BE.

Matt Damon is still Amazing

So there is a running joke on the Jimmy Kimmel show where they run out of time for Matt Damon. He's never scheduled to show, but they always say "We ran out of time." Anyway, Check out this Clip.... MATT DAMON!

Jack Nicholson is the man

Ok so if we didn't just announce Matt Damon as COTM, it would be Jack Nicholson. It's pretty much common knowlegde that he's a lifelong New York Yankees fan. Turns out in an upcomming movie he needs to wear a Red Sox Cap, right? WRONG!! In the movie Departed (which stars Matt Damon) Nicholson is a gangster in Boston. Martin Scorsese wanted him to wear a Red Sox Cap, and Jacky-boy refused. In related news Jack Nicholson is the man.

GOD to be a Queer

Hey Y'all. Now Now settle, before you all kill me. I don't mean God God, and I don't mean Morgan Freeman. I'm talking about Alanis Morissette. She is set to star as a lesbian in Nip/Tuck. Thats right. Ohh And if you're wondering why I called her God you obviously need to catch up on your View Askew, or you haven't watched Dogma the 9,000,000 times it's been on Comedy Central. Anyway she is set to be the lesbian girlfriend of Dr. Liz Cruz. I'm just wondering how Liz was able to "tap dat ass".... I mean Christian Troy could, but Liz??

Matt Damon

We here at rabblecopter are pleased to announce our Celebrity for the month of September. Yes It is late but we really, really wanted to keep J-Tim as COTM. Anyway this month's celeb is: Matt Damon. Matt Damon? Why this guy? What did he do? Well I was watching the movie Stuck On You, and I thought, Matt Damon makes me sit through some crappy movies, and I still like him. Ok so maybe he's not the most crazy celeb out there, or even all that news worthy. And sure he wasn't drunk like Ben Affleck on that interview thing. And sure he's a masshole. But how fun is it to say "Matt Damon?"

Damon also founded Project Greenlight with Affleck and Chris Moore to find and fund worthwhile film projects from novice filmmakers. The televised documentary about the making of the film projects has twice been nominated for an Emmy. And it's not terrible to watch. I saw one of those movies and it was decent.

Matt Damon has excellent choices for roles. Tom Ripley, Linus Caldwell, Jason Bourne, Wilhelm Grimm, and that guy from the Departed. And Rounders?? One of the greatest sport moivies ever? (Poker is a sport right?) Oooh and he has the single most greatest cameo ever in the history of film, music, television and cowboy porn. That is Donny, The lead singer or Lustra from the hit teen movie "EuroTrip." How catchy/funny is that song.

In the film Team America: World Police, Damon is portrayed as mentally handicapped, capable of only saying his name. Damon has laughed about the characterisation to journalists, including saying his name as per the movie and saying he would have been offended if they didn't include him in the movie. How cool is that? I don't see Tom Cruise doing anything that awesome.

To promote the film Rounders with Edward Norton, Damon and Norton were entered by Miramax into the 1998 World Series of Poker main event $10,000 buy-in No Limit Texas Hold'em, from which Damon was knocked out when his pocket kings were up against poker legend Doyle Brunson's pocket aces.

Plus I just found out he's rumored to play Captain James T Kirk. And That is pissing of trekies. And anything that pisses them off is great by me.


So Enjoy your month Matt Damon and remember that Scotty Doesn't Know.

People realize that Danny Glover is getting too old and shit

You all know Danny Glover, right? He's the one guy from Lethal Weapon. The one who said that thing. There was a media scandal, a thing with a taxi. no? You know what, he's the one who didn't go all crazy. And he's awsome.

OWW My HEAD

I HATE YOU KFED!!! YOU ARE AWARDED NO POINTS AND LET GOD HAVE MERCY ON YOUR SOUL>

Anchorman doesn't lie.

Ok, so check this clip out. It's news at it's finnest. Anchorman didn't lie. Those guys lead a hard life. Ron Burgandy would have layed a smack down though.



and no you weren't arrested becuase you are a minority.

AMAZING NEWS-O

Ok Suri Cruise Is topless in a magazine. Ok Paris had a DUI. Ok Lindsay is a Tart. Ok sure The Crocodile Hunter, Steve Irwin is DEAD. But This news is chump change. I Still hate KFed but that has nothing to do with this. You remember Clay Aiken? The Queer who almost won AMerican Idol, but then lost to Ruben Snadwich or something? Well He's doing stuff. WHITE HOUSE STUFF.

Clay Aiken is in line to be named to the President’s Committee for People with Intellectual Disabilities, the White House said Wednesday.

Aiken, a Raleigh native who gained fame as a runner-up on “American Idol,” once worked as a YMCA counselor.

The committee’s Web site said it advises the president on issues pertaining to people with intellectual disabilities. The committee was established in 1961 by President John Kennedy as the President’s Panel on Mental Retardation.

A White House press release said President Bush intends to make the appointment. Officials did not say when. The singer’s new album, “A Thousand Different Ways,” is due out later this month.

This is all true. Great Step in Gay Rights Though. ... I wish I was making this up.

Statue Of Rocky Is Back

Well Even if Rocky Dies in Rocky Balboa. The only movie that seems to be based off a sports game (Fight Night) The Statue Of Rocky is coming back to the the steps of the Philadelphia Museum of Art, where Sylvester Stallone ran the stairs in the movie as the boxer in training. That Statue is secret character in the rocky game... or something soo good stuff.

Sauce vs Pants ( The Super Fight ) : The Actual Fight: A Rope Of Sand

Tonight's Topic: Smurfs. How Do They reproduce. Greg Starts:

Greg: well clearly the Smurfs do the humpty hump to reproduce

Rob: Uhh… sir that is insane, they are asexual. I mean come on you ever see blue mammals?

Greg: yeah i have most pimps wear blue and last time i checked a pimp is a mammal and a Smurf

Rob: That is LUDACRIS! Smurfs are communists not pimps. You ever take a picture of Papa Smurf and compare it to Karl Marx

Greg: no way

Rob: …and brainy is totally a little bitch

Greg: that is completely insane! If it is true Karl Marx was a mammal therefore the Smurfs reproduce, but that doesn’t change their mammal ness

Rob: Uhh… WORNG SIR! They are not mammals they are clearly some sort of insect. An ASEXUAL INSECT besides could brainy ever pull some smurfnanny… I think not

Greg: it doesn’t matter if cant get any what matters is that he lacks the ability to do what mammals do;: that is doing it

Rob: If they have the ability to service smurfette (the tart that she is) they would constantly be trying to, there would be too much competition. Resulting in Smurf village going down faster than Paris Hilton

Greg: no way. There is a turn based system that is very complex and each Smurf gets to hit it on their specific day.

Rob: ERRRRRONIOUS

How do you explain Sassette Smurf? They clearly are too busy working to even have time to reproduce

Greg: there is always time for booty. Smurfs no matter how hard they work will always have time for the nasty

Rob: Ok so clearly Smurfette's job is to be the girl CAN WE NOT AGREE ON THIS?

Greg: we can!

Rob: so maybe they only have one female like ants or Aliens from Aliens. hence they lay eggs

Greg: still not asexual!

Rob: so they do not have sex, but simply Smurf their Smurf all over the eggs?

Greg: they still need the Smurf to Smurf all over the eggs

Rob: But, that’s not sex, so obviously they must be insects. This is the only logical answer: smurfette is their queen

Greg: i never saw it that way... I will concur with u sir

Rob: Yes

Greg: the Smurfs have to be insects.

Rob: with a queen Smurf, that being Smurfette

Greg: true

FIRE CROTCH GOES SAILING

The Fire Crotch is around the interweb. She is a Tart.....
Even if it's not real.... still a tart.


Thats all I got. Her is a photo of blurred stuff. A unedited one is around the interweb here.

Sauce vs Pants ( The Super Fight )

Tonight I will publish The never before seen Sauce vs. Pants Debate. "Cross-Sauce" esc Verbal War between Rob "The Count of Monte Fisto" Marinaro and Greg "The Hurricane" Overhuls. The debate is so important, and is on a topic so controversal we had to wait a full week before publishing it.


Here is an eight year old's rendition of what should be kick ass.

Suri Cruise not Alien.. Details at 3:55

Hey so Suri Cruise is a human... Kinda makes sense right? I mean afterall they worship Aliens they aren't aliens. Ohhh but If I was a lizard I wouldn't walk around in my lizard skin. I would totally do it it up in a human skin, that I took after I ate a baby. A Baby with black hair.

Please Wait

Please Be Patient. We will rabble and such again soon.