4 am power rankings

I enjoy power rankings parodies so I decided to make my own

for the 4 am hour here's my power rankings.

1. Coffee, yes coffee. The caffeinated goodness is amplified by the half and half and sugar explosion. A very obvious choice if you ask me. Why? Its 4 am. What did you expect number one was gonna be? Furby??? Get your head out of your ass.

2. Billy Mays: Heck yeah! The oxy clean guy! He rules the late night dial with an iron fist and now hes even selling medication insurance??? I don't know what that is... but I want it. Much like I want the showtime rotisserie grill, a shamwow, and a magic bullet.

3. Marshmallows: why not.

4. TMZ: not the blog... The show. why? because its on and they make celebrity reporting look like the news hub of the Washington Post. God forbid we don't know what Paris Hilton is doing right now.

5. ESPN: It's important that I get caught up on all the sports I missed out on by sleeping all day.

6. The Moon: There are whalers on the moon... They carry harpoons.

7. Electricity: I hear its important. Ben Franklyn discovered it. Good man. On the Hundred.